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Hug Your Shaper

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Time flies all too fast sometimes and before you know it, your calendar reads less than a month away from that anticipated surf trip. As you double check your passport’s expiration and take inventory of that healthy bikini/boardie supply, you realize the most obvious object is lacking: a proper board.

A few months ago, a new board did cross your mind and you thought about calling your trusty shaper, but …popped a tire on the freeway, girlfriend broke up with you, waves were (somehow) good…life. Now you’re down to the wire: T-minus 15 days and not only do you need a perfect board, but you need it SOON.

Terry picks out a template and I approve.

Terry picks out a template and I approve.

Suddenly, your shaper’s number gets stored in your favorites, you swing by his or her shop more often and take in some stories from the glory days, you shower them with baked goods or burritos, then comes the question:

 “So I’ve got this surf trip coming up…”

“Oh yeah? You need a board.”

“I leave in two weeks.”

“I can do it.”

Tension eased. Hello, eight hours of sleep!

Although most normal people give their shaper a fair warning before said ‘trip,’ some people tend to be procrastinators. *cough*me*coughcough*

And if you’re one of those special people, here are some ways to help your shaper not hate you:

1.) Feed your shaper! 

If you’re one of the lucky ones, like myself, and you get to watch the whole board shaping process go down, it is always a good idea to bring your shaper some grub. A happy shaper is a full shaper. Aside from frankincense and myrrh…a sacrificial goat or virgin… coffee and pastries work just fine, too.

 2.) Rock out to your shaper’s music.

I don’t care if you don’t like Quiet Riot or think Green Day is a sell-out band from your pre-teen days, quit your whining and let your shaper get into their groove. When you’re in my car, you get my tunes…same concept for the shaping bay. So throw up those hands, horns or lighters.

 3.) Update your shaper on your life history…or sit there and look pretty.

Is your shaper a talker or does he or she need some peace and quiet? Whatever it may be, try to accommodate. If they want to know all about how your date stood you up or where your dog picked up fleas or how state park’s been walling up lately, let it flow. But if he or she is the quiet type, respect that too. Some shapers don’t like yappers.

4.) Laugh at your shaper’s jokes…even if you’ve heard them already.

If you know Terry Senate, you know you’re in for it. He has a joke for every hour of the day and backs it up with a crazy story or two…then ends it by making fun of you, somehow…and somehow, you just continue to laugh. I think that is the man’s goal: to make you laugh from the second your enter his shop to the second you leave.

 5.) Hug your shaper.

They put up with your crazy life schedule, they accommodate every nit-picky eighth of an inch, they breathe in some nasty shit, they make you smile and, above all, they help you get the greatest rides of your life.

The least you can do is hug them.

Man love at it's finest: "I love you, man!"

Man love at it’s finest: “I love you, man!”

Five things you NEED in Humboldt:

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Humboldt Redwood forests galore! Try to find the hobbit in this picture.

Humboldt Redwood forests galore! Try to find the hobbit in this picture.

Ah, the land of beards, flannel and weed connoisseurs! Humboldt, Calif. is an area of the golden state that is anything but dry and brown.  Noted for it’s beautiful temperate rainforest, rocky coastline and, well, all different types of greenery, Humboldt is not a place to pass up …or puff-puff-pass the day away. Go outside.

All rain and stoners aside, I drove the 950 mile stretch solo to visit a good friend, score some waves and hug some trees. It didn’t take any THC-induced revelation to figure out the five essentials you can’t go without. Ladies and gents, other than your paraphernalia, don’t forget to pack these:

Waterproof Patagonia Jackets rock!

Waterproof Patagonia Jackets rock!

1.)    Waterproof Jacket:

Despite the fact that the ocean is chilly and chances of a swim/surf or (whatever your fancy) are less than that of Hawaii, you will get wet. Loosely considered the Pacific Northwest, Humboldt is rainy place. The coast varies only 10 degrees summer-to-winter and has an average rainfall of 40-100 inches per year. Coupled with humidity, this can create some wet (and not too cold) conditions. I was recently converted to Patagonia’s down jackets. To an extent, most of them are waterproof, but can be costly–trust me! I was hunting for months for one to go on sale! If you find one on sale, go for it. It’s well worth the bucks. If $$ is not an issue, put your chump change to the test and buy one–Patagonia is a solid company and does great things for this planet. If $$ is an issue, there are several comparable brands that are decimal points less than the pricey “Patagucchi.”

Laughing about a lack of skivvies.

Laughing about a lack of skivvies.

2.)    Hiking Boots:

To state the obvious: there are beautiful trails you NEED to explore in Humboldt. However, rocks, mud and rivers are aplenty, so hiking boots are nice to have to climb over trees, boulders and gravel. If you’re like me (semi-hippy-ish) and you like playing in the mud, try trekking a muddy trail barefoot! A lot of people walk about Humboldt without their shoes…and, apparently, skivvies! I met a fellow hiking in a kilt, traditional style….meaning: no undies. How I found out? When he squatted down to take a picture of me and my friend, all of his glory flashed before my eyes. It’s safe to say this shot was a candid one.

But— If you do nothing else, go for a walk in the woods. You’ll thank me later.

He thought I was going to steal his dinner.

He thought I was going to steal his dinner.

3.)  Camera:

You will see trees wider than your walls and beautiful scenic forested areas that are thousands of years old…coastlines engulfed in fog, huge waves, majestic Elk…and banana slugs. Tell me you don’t want to recall the time you ventured into the Humboldt “shire” and have beautiful emerald green images! Again, rain was a factor for me and my camera lens, so it would be wise to bring a lens-friendly wipe.

 

Some hiking spots might look familiar, too…Jurassic Park/Star Wars ring a bell? Ewoks/Hobbits/Aliens/Dinosaurs…a director’s wet dream for fantasy land should be on your photo priority list.

4.) Gun

I’m not part of any NRA…In my world, a gun is: a big board for riding big waves…Small by Humboldt standards is six feet. The day I got there, it was maybe two-to-three occasional six feet…winds and high tide made conditions a little wonky, but the next day, the surf climbed to staggering double-to-triple overhead heights. This translates to: 10-to-18 feet. If you plan to surf: bring a gun.

5.) Five millimeter wetsuit/Hood/Booties

My friend Sean told me: “If you don’t have a hood, you might as well not come up here.” The water temperature can range between 48 and 52 degrees, on average. It may not be Alaska, but it is pretty cold. Obviously, when you are in cold temperatures, it behooves you to have something to contain the heat that will escape through your dome. This worked like a charm, although I will add: the 5 mil wetsuit was also a great help! And as much as I dislike booties, I wore them…with much gusto.

Sean can't believe I'm sitting across the room, with camera in one hand and beer in another.

Sean can’t believe I’m sitting across the room, with camera in one hand and beer in another.

All things in this picture are necessary in Humboldt, Calif.

All things in this picture are necessary in Humboldt, Calif.

OH AND… 

Don’t hesitate to buckle up, suit up and strap in for fun times up there. Be wary of road ADD once you hit the forested areas and don’t touch the banana slugs. Apparently their slime is very hard to wash off.  One thing you absolutely MUST try is their local lager, Eel River IPA. It’s freakin’ amazing!